The Facebook Call

In the realm of social interactions, social networks have come to play a major role today as they provide an easier way of interaction and a way for people to carry on with their ulterior motives. They are a different world in themselves as you can choose to be someone else completely and get away with it. I have come across people who consider themselves nothing below the level of 007 over the net, but when it comes to some real interaction, they would bring even Black Shadow( From GI JOE fame) to shame.

If this is not burdening enough to your senses. here is another fun fact. Lot of people try to play the "best-friend -to-all" card by just liking their ridiculous status and selfies. In a way, just by being benevolent with the "LIKE" button, you are in a way strengthening your friendship. So, if you aren't on FB at all, you are in some deep waters. You are no good to the modern society. After all, if i don't get any likes from you, what good are you anyways.

Usually, in the olden days when a guy would have a crush on a girl, he would try to go out to her and speak to her. He would try to know a little about her interests and speak to her trying to be the Yoda of it all, till the girl would presumably start getting late for her class, or would show a sense of urgency in meeting a friend who is probably waiting for her at a safe distance of about a km from you...But now with FB, you can indulge in the habit of" Socially Tapping into Abridged lampooning Kernel and Information Net Gathering ", i.e, STALKING. If you do it right, you can have those conversations where not only do you establish yourself as a good friend, but coerce the person into thinking of you are probably "the one". That is bloody manipulative.

But all this comes with its own set of risks, like, what if you send a friend request to this new found friend, and she doesn't accept it. Well, this is a very cruel technique now employed by women all over the world to get rid of guys like you. It's like a nail to the heart, where social network acceptance not rendered brings about a negativity and instills an idea of lack of interest in pursuing anything further with the person on the other side.

One of my friends, recently sent a friend request to his crush and she accepted. But then, the "friend" request was to literal in her domain as the guy eventually did just get to be her friend. You obviously don't want that to happen to you, do you?

Crushes apart, there are few people who become friends over the net and date over the net...and guess what...break up over the net. Such people in all regards are very weird and I am sure, they are looking forth to the copulating over net technology to further their love interests. Its only a matter of time.

I remember back in school, in 11th grade there was this really hot girl who would draw lot of eyes in the geeky school crowd. I somehow had the privilege of sharing the same bus as her. But you see, few people are in fact eye candies and that is all they are. You can stare at them and wonder to how good they are, than talk out of fear, that should that facade of beauty fade with her utter stupidity, you may not be able to enjoy the delightful staring anymore. This is precisely what happened in my case.Anyways,one day this person once was sitting beside me and i thought to myself, why not speak to her. So as i started the conversation, she turned out to be one of those people who give you their entire life story, for it looks as if you care.(I need to get rid of that look) She started telling me about her life, her hobbies....and then after a little toiling around...her BF. I wasn't exactly heartbroken, but was intrigued and wanted to know who this gentleman might be. It so turned out that this was a person who lived in some other part of the city, and had befriended her over the net. Not that i need to state it out, he asked her out and they were now in a relationship..KUDOS..the guy was skilled with the fingers :p. Now, I am sometimes not really good at masking my feelings, for i found myself hysterically laughing on hearing her love story. And FB played its role again, and i got UNFRIENDED!!! Cheers!!! 

So, folks be a little careful in making the Facebook call, for it can destroy you.

THE ART OF PRESENTING

Now, in a regular college you usually have lot of interactive sessions apart from the usual lectures. In fact, presentations have now come to be a part of the curriculum, so that the boneheads amongst us can actually realise that no really cares about their opinion on literally anything. Presentations can be problematic when the people you may be addressing aren't receptive at all. How do you make things interesting then?...Make a few sexual innuendos and watch the magic happen.
I'm kidding, please don't do that. Girls might take offense of that...oh wait..the teacher might too.
I once had a presentation to make on one of my happening B.Com(H) subjects.(I had to put the (H) in there, its a very touchy issue). Before i bore you with the transcript of my presentation, i shall bring in light another presentation that was put forth my one of my classmate. Lets call him Mr. Smartass-no-one-gives-a- fuck-about(Thats long, so just smartass).
 So he came before the class as clueless as ever. Now, my emphasis is on how to CON the teacher that you know shit. He started off the presentation, looking clearly oblivious about the topic. So, Mr Smartass pulled off a trick where he spoke and i quote " Today, I am not going to give a presentation the conventional way for it is boring and mentally inconducive.  I shall be asking you all questions about my topic and i hope you will respond as enthusiastically as you do on seeing a girl in a laced backless outfit with a skirt"..(No, he didn't say that part, it was just my head. I think she crossed over by the window at that point of time).
Anyways, so he spoke about this for over 10 mins and then came to the topic of discussion and spoke for another 5 mins on the topic. Now, i would think that the teacher would really be annoyed at his stupendous trick, but then she lauded him. I was surely surprised.
So learning a little from that, i tried to employ a few tricks there. Unfortunately my conscience doesn't allow me to cheat or try to make a fool out of someone, even if it was to entice that girl who had walked by the window. But then, i hadn't really prepared much , nor did i have the book to simply read out of. So, the shameless me got up, borrowed the book from the teacher and started my ppt. I quoted all the examples that i could think off and came out as a badass who knew shit!!!

Social ineptitude

In the urban sphere, there are many a times, you will see individuals who are otherwise perceived as social retards. Its generally not because on meeting a new person they start swinging around like a little girl with candy floss, but because they sometimes unintentionally say something really random, out of context and embarrassing. Moreover, they have this look on their face towards the end where they establish the fact that the very reason you could comprehend what they has to say was probably you have finally stooped down to their intellectual level. KUDOS
There are certain benchmarks that society sets for you. If you are a person who finds himself at ease to be able to speak to anyone or everyone, according to modern lingo, you sir...ARE A PLAYER. Now you might just wonder to how i suddenly reached to that conclusion. Well, even i was surprised when someone called me one. It was in fact totally uncalled for, but yet it happened. Anyways, if a person general demeanor is such that he finds himself at ease with people around, he is morally flawed.
Who are these judgmental creatures???
Well, there are always these sects within the civil society which is might not be so much at ease with socializing with people. Not long ago, i was a part of it. Sometimes, few amongst these are so frustrated with their lives that they find it hard to fathom that anyone else may have actually mastered the art of human companionship. They then resort to such judgmental behavior.

BHed-Bakri

How much should one change to accommodate the needs of those around us?

Ideally, if i were to pose this question to one of my friends MP, he would say " F@** the world. Bhedh bakris( sheeps and goats) shouldn't be allowed to play a decisive role in one's life". He makes a lot of sense when he is high. He should have started this back in school itself, i could have used a little help back in those morose un-happening days. Anyways, if we were to dig into the very idea of friendship, I have realized that the other weird humanoids who endorse my views and for the least, acknowledge my presence around them are the ones who can be referred to as friends. 

Drawing into a broader sense of it all, i shall proclaim that there are those who scratch the surface and garb the role of Socrates and tell the world what is ideal and what isn't. Well, to an extent they are okay, but when that object to scratch on becomes your character, I think it does become a little painful to tolerate such vilifying idiots. That is exactly when the " Bhedh- bakri" concept comes into play. Don't bother about such individuals, for you might just find yourself in the hand of pea-brained studs. Though such indignation should be dealt with harshly, the world isn't that ideal, for the Bhed-bakri will make it an agenda in their lives to be after your life.You have to be the smart one or else you might become one. Its contagious, i know....i have seen people becoming one.

ok...that is a lot of negativity right there. Not indulging in such cynicism for a while, we might see that there are many random individuals who are as chilled out in life as you are, and hardly concern themselves with the lives of others.You  generally find such individuals lying around like lawns across the college campus, or even amidst the stoner gangs. They won't judge, they won't antagonize you, but what they would do is let you be you.

Caring about what other have to think about you is clearly none of your business. Its not rational in any way to stop living your life just because the random guy with an inflated ego said so, are your crush told you so. There are always those happy beautiful people who will believe in you and have so much of faith in you that they would entrust you with their lives. So follow up on humans, for bheed bakris may come and go, we stay on forever. 

Seeing through

What is your idea of a rave night?

Well, until and unless you are some stuck up guy sitting alone in some college dorm, i guess you would be familiar with the partying trends in most up class universities. I am just kidding. If we start differentiating on that basis as to how cool a person really is, I guess 99% of the Indian students might find themselves labelled as a social retard by some unknown yet awesome blogger. Anyways, I was basically drawing reference from movies like 21 and over, Kumar and Harold,, American Pie or any other Hollywood movie that showcases the level of passion the Americans have for higher education. I am just held in awe by what they portray, for it gives a gist to a fulfilling life.
 Who says divinity surrounds those who sacrifice their pleasures to sit on the steps of the Almighty's heavenly abode. Heaven is real, and it is here. To go to nearest heaven, please google free s** videos and it'll give you an idea. Please don't fill in for the membership, those heavens are a little costly and sometimes may give you a very false illusion of divinity since they might be scripted at the hands of the shallow creatures which roam this planet.
If you graduate to another level, clearly assuming you had the requisites of not coming out as a mellow, docile individual who still finds himself in front of the xBox on saturday nights, i guess you should understand that the surrealism of physical intimacy has its root entwined into the human brain very badly. One who gets ensnared into the momentum of this, will find it hard to let go of a life which peaks your testosterone level.

Those house parties with unknown neighbors, those random walks on the beach in the moonlight, those random eye glances at a beautiful stranger at clubs, i guess i have found a heaven in there somewhere. Dancing at a club under those shimmering colorful lights with that face smiling at you as she closes in, that sudden haze that builds up and clouds over your world as you find sudden silence in the loud music,there is an electrifying world that suddenly befalls you. Embrace it and love it, for life is short and its not everyone to seek salvation to live with immortality
.

Fantasy tale

Every kid will be able to relate to this sad yet true tale, where you find yourself amidst constant brewing of ill thought career advises and motivational lectures. They usually start with how important it is to start studying, which sadly never really reaches its culmination as one passed out of school or even graduates. You never have that moment when you can probably run out of your house and shout, "its finally over".
Its quite fanciful when I bunch of kids talking big, speaking is a very bold outright fashion, as if they have everything planned out in their lives. Its actually fun!!
Try listening to a few girls in particular. I actually ended up meeting one such person a few years back, at a formal party. Well this girl was no ''little'girl, but someone who was pursuing her masters. Usually you are a little hesitant to speak about yourself so much when you meet someone new, but this...No Sir... she would tell me everything and anything, that I might find really embarrassing. So, i just sat there speechless, left spellbound by her exuberance which had sadly sky rocketed. She had planned her marriage, where she would live, how many kids she would have and what would be their names.
 I have started indulging in a habit of building up on things, so I thought its time to put the new hobby in act. So, I encouraged her,thinking that may be this will calm her down and instil in her a little sense of being pragmatic in life. i tried to nudge her into a corner called the 'career corner', but then the girl chose to keep away from that self immolating 'non-nonsensical'' talks.
By the end of it, i swear to God, for a moment i had become oblivious to where i was and what i was doing, my senses had been subjected to such misery that I drew a big haze in my head. Before I could start contemplating if it is a good option to just run out somewhere, I had a Sherlock moment where everything around me seemed like a potential weapon, and I started speculating to what reaction would I draw on using any of them. Sadly, I am no Sherlock , for I had been locked by this impervious individual with no appreciation for my sarcasm.
The amazing part is,  recently I came to know that she is half way through this fantasy of her. After having tolerated  her that day, I would have been rather angry should the girl have failed in fulfilling her dreams.

I was there when it happened

Probably years from now, when college going people like myself will have kids of their own, who will suddenly run up to and ask
Kid : Dad, i was going through the most watched videos of youtube, and  i found this video."RaGa's interview with Arnab Goswami". It is an epic video. I'll show it to you.
Me : Son, i was there when it happened....and i saw it all, so did the nation.
Kid : WOW!!!

Ok...thats too much into the future, but still.
Now you know what i am talking about. If you saw it, trust me, you witnesses a very historical event in our history. The day when everything came to a standstill to listen to the bright and bold prodigy of the Nehru-Gandhi Clan. It was something that the school folks near my neighborhood would call "Epic S**t".
Like all the rest, i was looking forward to the interview, not because i am a big fan, but because i am a fan of comedy. I wouldn't even say intuitions has me thinking that this will be fun. I bloody knew it has to be. I bet Arnab Goswami had all this planned. Maybe he has some brainstorming session with his colleagues-
AG- Times Now is becoming to centered to political ideology and social responsibility. We need to shake things up a bit.
Colleague- How about we eliminate the ideology and bring in the idiocracy.
AG- Yes....no political ideology but political idiocracy. But how................
Colleague-  RaGa
AG- *ear to ear evil grin*...hahahahahah

So ladies and gentlemen, this is how AG bought it all up and gave the Great Indian Democracy its first victim of new age political enlightenment, thus aiding the muffler bound kejriwal, another reason to rejoice.

Do you remember those days, when as a kindergarten kid, you had those frightful recitations wherein you had to memorize numerous lines which though made no sense to you, you had to do so regardless. Then, standing in front of your buddies, you would start reciting in a single breath, as if this was a do or die situation and the only way to survive was to get it over with quickly. Should you get interrupted, you wouldn't start from where you left, but had to start all over again. Well, this is how RaGa's interview was. 

An Indian at the global pedestal

Well, again the newspapers are brimming with news about how another has taken the world stage to make a name for the billion us. Mr Satya Nadella has been chosen as the third CEO in the history of Microsoft and will be taking over from Steve Balmer with immediate effect. So a midst the hullabaloo about this news, i just sat wondering to how exactly have we as Indian benefited. Its not like more jobs are going to magically start appearing in India. What good did Sanjay Gupta being appointed Chief Surgeon in the White house administration bring us, or what did Kal Penn's appointment as adviser again in white house help us in anyway.
The only people who probably feel motivated by his appointment are the students at Manipal university, who can now believe that "Humara bhi kuch ho sakta hai". Apparently, Mr Nadella is a Microsoft insider, and has been involved in their cloud computing business. Being an engineer, he is being considered as a better option than what Steve Balmer has proven to be, who hailed from a sales background.
Now, like i said, being an Indian, its okay to gloat over this, but not too much. I like all the rest of the individuals around could use a job at Microsoft after all. Should Mr Nadella, go for a talent hunt in the country he hails from. Not only are we as motivated as him, but trust me, we all are looking for a reason to drop out of college and establish another Microsoft. I sometimes sit at the chaiwallah stall near my college and wonder, do i have a Zuckerberg or a Gates in me. Why can't i do what they did? Do something unconventional. But then, that may have been the nicotine talking.