Romeo's Diary #2

The earlier post of mine just gave a little insight into my ordeal in this sphere of life. Its not really a thing that I can evoke humour out of, but certainly it was a memorable and pleasant experience which stays intact in some corner of my heart. What followed is the misery and the agony so killing that the world seemed unfair at every step. Its basically when something means so much to you and you loose it, you will be rendered incomplete and the memories are the only things that will stay with you.
I have gone over these thoughts over and over again, wrenching as I did. Consoling myself seemed like the only plausible solution with an ardent desire to move on. But to err is human, and I am probably one of the most flawed human there is. I couldn't get it out of my head, I couldn't live with the fact that when someone close goes, it leaves you in deep anguish and you feel betrayed. Time has always been my companion through the strenuous life, but time too betrayed me. I wished for it to sway me over and relieve me of this agony which aggravated each passing moment, but time just slid my like a passing wave , hardly leaving a mark over the emotional wound that I had ingrained.
The more I think ,the more I realise, everything does happen for a reason and this was bound to happen. Dwelling in a cocoon that I had weaved for myself, hardly slithering out for the fear of the unknown had to have a consequence. When you become complacent, you not only detach yourself from the wonderful world there is, but you also let go of wonderful opportunities that life entails. You try to glide over the seamless drift of the monotonous world and find happiness in something material. You deprive yourself of true happiness and life becomes a debauchery of material and physical attributes.
When the Almighty shows his wrath, it isn't a moment of displeasure which smear over one's life, but is like a clout that hurts you and moreover teaches you. God taught me a lesson, which is not engrained deep in my soul.
I lost her, not because of my lack of sincerity but because I never took control over my life. I let things pass by and yet I stood with that pretentious smile, not trying to fool others but myself into believing that life was indeed too peaceful and good,...So bash on regardless. I can't see her any more and when I do, words stray away and thoughts...well they are as skewed as ever. I don't know if I ever will walk across and look her in the eyes for she is mine no more, but I want to work hard in my life so to have the dignity to treat her as she deserves.

Romeo’s Diary

I am not sure if this happens to everyone there is, but it happened to me. I am a college student, that too in Delhi University. In the typical sense, I am quite not the DU kind. I don’t have swag nor do I like the funkiest band there is. I don’t go to rock concerts and I definitely don’t sport crocs with pyjama outfit in college. I don’t have a hairdo which is not only weird, but has multiple shades of purple and red. But what I have is a decent personality with a little a shade of “funny”.

Now, if you watch movies on college life, the main star is the decent guy with who is quite an intellectual or is the star athlete who has every girl drooling over him. You might even fancy the guy with the leather jacket who comes on his Harley every day. But well, I am none of them, not even close. I don’t have that life nor do I really care for it. Moreover, most of it shown on movies isn’t true. College life may not be so perfect, and nor can you chill out to an extent where a college and a real life orgy of fun and drama become synonymous.  You can’t have a crowd which seems to be Baywatch and American Pie bought together minus Pamela Anderson. College life may have its own definition for you, for you maybe be a career oriented person, or a suave social parasite with a habit of hooking onto random people (maybe not you but me :p).  Parallel to this life, is your love life. Well, that is some game worth playing. I don’t wish to demean the term of ‘love’ by calling it a game, but then this is a thing that might require a lot of thinking. Let me share a few important lessons to learn in this field.

The main things that you should follow before you fall in love in college.

1.       Not in the same college

Shoot yourself if you are already there, run if you are about to near it and be rather judicious if you plan to go ahead.

2.       Carry no emotional baggage or tolerate none.

In this fast world, people are screwed more than ever. Moreover, in spite of fucking their lives over and over again, they don’t relinquish a chance to pounce on love affairs. So, end result is that people have this emotional baggage which they carry after strings of heart breaks. If you are this happy go lucky person who has fallen in love, brace yourself for some emotional drama that might come your way. I say this only when you find yourself being the shoulder to cry and her emotional puking bag.

3.       It is not marriage

If you are mature enough, you will not start envisaging a life of togetherness till eternity. Don’t freak out and don’t freak other out. It’s a slow and steady process. Let it take its own time.

As I once quipped, Love is like that light emitting mosquito killing machine. You get drawn to it knowing you'll get fucked, but you go towards it regardless eventually to die a slow and painful death.

The Boy in Pink Pyjamas

Yes, the elections have started and the fervour has spread across the nation to engulf every one with it. Be it just for selfies on fb or for the free noodles at Yo China, elections have caught onto the young minds the country. The aam aadmis of the country our coming out to vote for change, a change which should see India rise beyond its current mundane political scenario of chair throwing, money minting, rioting and a few dharna loving leaders.

With everyone coming out, why should the first family of the nation stay behind? On Thursday morning, the less spoken Gandhi scion with her husband Mr Vadra walked out to cast their votes. Already known  in the media circles for his fitness regime and a passion for lobbying, Mr Vadra was all out at Lodhi estate to vote. Dressed in pink pants, the exuberant Mr Vadra was all ablaze to make a powerful statement to show his solidarity with his brother in law’s remarks on women empowerment.

Speaking to our correspondent, Mr Vadra said “RaGa is the glimmering star of our country and he envisages a country free of corruption. Its time our country steps out to show support for a great leader. I thereby call for a pink pyjama movement. Come out in your pinky chaddis and pants and show support for the Yuvraj. With a mark on the finger, and pink pants to adorn our body, we shall move forward to a better life free of misery. India shall rise as a nation which is not only held up as an example at Swiss Bank bodies meetings for continued strides in membership, but also seen as a the foremost economic power. "

On being asked about his involvement in the controversial land deals, with an ear to ear grin,  he blissfully said “

“Hum toh hain sabse imaandaar,

Karte kyun ho aaisa attyachaar

Bolunga nahi kuch bhi aur

Varna maregi Saas mujhko maar,

Dil toh kehta hai jaun is baar

Aur kehdun, Abki baar modi Sarkar.”

Stoning for a cause- Mob style

The Indian mob has reinstituted their game of "Pelting stones", as was seen in the wake of the World Cup Final loss to Sri Lanka on Sunday. Yuvraj Singh got to be the first face of the new season, as he carries the blame for the defeat faced by India. The mob had been contemplating upon this act for long , as their fief of ink throwing, molesting and burning effigies were becoming too mainstream.

 "In order to reinvent, you sometimes need to go back to your roots " claimed the head mobster

"As the research team struck up its 'ideate, innovate and initiate' steps, we were long looking for a fish to fry up and see the measure the merits of the long lost art of  stone pelting.We were worried that this art might have lost its sheen. But, I must say, the results have been very satisfactory." added another disgruntled mobster.

"With the upcoming elections, it is very necessary that the mobs to be on their toes at all times. Any opportunity lost will be an insult to this noble art and an insult to our Guru, Arvind Ji, who has transpired to take Mobs to another level. In the pretext of corruption free governance, free of ill-will, he has given us more room to breathe and carry out our projects. We shall strive to do our very best and bring back those glory days" exclaimed Head of All India Mobsters( AIM)

With talk in the pipeline with "Disgruntled Unemployed Youths of United India", the main student body at college level, AIM is believed to be taking measures to make this election the next big thing in the history of Mobs.

This is my article from the Faking news Blog
http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/2014/04/13/stoning-for-a-cause-mob-style/

Government Jobs

First let me establish that this is no government job notification. I am assuming that the keyword will get a lot of hits owing to our ardent undying love for government jobs. Sometimes, people might not even look to see what the job might entail and go cuckoo over the tag. Though the fanboyism is a little less now, with Manmohan Singh having dashed to save our economy in early 90s and trashing the "License Raj", we still see lot of youth focusing solely on such jobs for their prospective marriage proposals depend upon them. I kid you not, lot of arranged marriages in India still give lot of 'weight age' to government babus. In simple terms, the stigma of a secure job has been the true evil cause of a lot of arranged "love less" marriages.
My ancestral place is a small village where the tradition of arranged cum surprise marriage is still something that has been a continued trend. People only get to see their faces once the deal is made and the marriage is done. There is no backing out for marriages are like a bond, there are paid for and you get the amount on maturity or else, it is essentially your loss.
 So, drawing in an example, I heard my Mom mentioning an amusing yet true story wherein a guy who is a clerk in a government bank has pegged quite a good price( not in an auction) in a marriage proposal. With a government job at hand, he is seen as a golden bird amidst the farmers. I am sure, he is being pitched as the next big thing in the village after the guy who is now a peon at the magistrate's office.
Enough with the marriage though, lets now move onto few amazing job profiles offered by the Indian government. Hailed as the Google of the government sector, the DRDO will offer you an amazing working environment. Better part being, DRDO gives you a feel at home environment, as in literally. You can just stretch out in your arm chair with a newspaper in your hand, and that will be pretty much your entire career's achievement. With an impeccable record of procrastinating and squandering away government's funds, the DRDO fancies 100% government perks and privileges. In an ideal sense, this is the job where this line holds apt "Yahan chaddar odh kar 20 saal so jayiye aur retirement ke samay uth ke chale jayiye, koi kuch nahi kahega". I remember someone telling me once, that the DrDL under the DRDO actually stands for "Dheeraj Rakho, Der Lagegi".
So, if you don't see yourself as the most hard-working intellectual being around, you might consider the government sector. You might not be able to ever drive a BMW, or own a big villa or be able to give your children foreign education, but you certainly wouldn't be the one falling of Statesman building just because the stock market crashed.

College Life

I remember setting foot through those college gates and feeling invincible. Having dreamed of this day throughout my teenage, it was certainly a very heavenly moment. College is a place where you can unload your teenage baggage and start over new. There are no ghosts of the past to haunt or douse you into emotional turmoil. You may come across as a person with the same humanoid form but with a better you, having your personality as the axe as you wedge towards something new. It’s a place where you find more like yourself; grow profound into your absurdity, or put on an academic veil. If even that appals you, then grow a thick mane, pick up a guitar and strum with your heart and sing through those college years. The idea is to giving yourself a fair chance at discovering your potential, for these years are the ones which will give direction to your future.

Now college life is sometimes too overrated, especially if you are a big fan of Hollywood/Bollywood movies. So, if you are about to step intoyour college with a fancy image of having a “21 and Over “out there, let me break this to you, this is real life. Here, the possibility of something fun frolic yet stupendous has its own set of limits. You can’t stretch out your new found freedom beyond an extent because, first point, parents do exist and second, there is something known as GPA, which when shoots down too low, may prove to be a hindrance to your college life. There is another option too to having a fun college life , you might consider having a ‘bindass’ life like Aamir khan in ‘Rang De Basanti’, where even after passing out of college you may choose to stay on campus and become the Royal Graduate . But here is the discouraging part; Aamir had a family business in the form of a Dhaba to sustain his continuous crazy escapades. If you aren’t from a family with a business to look back at, you might want to cross that idea out, unless your Bf/Gf is a millionaire, in which case you may disregard my advice. If you are a geek, and tend to venture out at clubs waiting for a girl to break your heart, so that you get drunk out of depression and have your  ’Social Network’ moment, it’s high time you get back to your books , because there will always be one Facebook and one Zuckerberg, moreover Zuckerberg didn’t become a genius because of a heartbreak.

So, disparting from the overrated stuff, I would like to avail this opportunity to give this message out to the beloved fellow college goers, don’t be disheartened if your college life isn’t as awesome as you had imagined it to be, or if you didn’t get into the society you wished to get into, or your academics are in turmoil, or your hot classmates are already dating your seniors making you the innocent onlooker, it’s not the end of the world. Things much worse could have happened. If this offers any consolation, I would just like to welcome you to THE REST OF US. Cheers!!!

This is my article from the site metroaandyou.com

http://www.metroandyou.com/lifestyle/college-life/

Revelation

Many of us nerdy little creatures spend their school life sitting on the front benches without glaring at those distant beautiful faces at the back. Somehow, it works just fine till the time somebody so striking and pretty comes across and sways your heart. How does the fickle mind concentrate then?
 Those days can be tough. I remember that as a tenth grader, I set my eyes on this occult creature of the opposite sex. I somehow found myself drawn to her like a bee to a flower, a druggie to marijuana, or a Delhi commuter to the last metro.That blossoming beauty with shiny clothes and glossy lips.( Yeah...My mind was evolved only this much, for my moral righteousness limited my extent of imagination of her)
 Naive as I was, I took the trouble of trying to understand or at least contemplate upon what a girl really wants in a guy. Yes, I was that stupid!! Everybody knows that you can't understand a girl, including the girls themselves. Those were the days when the Boards were hovering over everyone's mind and there I was, the nerd of the class trying  my luck with the pretty girl in the class. Trust me, for a nerd, that is nothing less than risking one's own life, such was my infatuation. Since, I didn't know how the " Game" was played, I stuck with seemingly polite passive way of strengthening my friendship with her. That was a mistake.
So, the girl as to my surprise was somehow drawn to these jerks in my class who with their abrasive foul language had better luck with her than I did. Meanwhile, my grades dropped a few points and everyone said...DON'T GET DISTRACTED. Love can be blinding and will drag you away from reality. I was indeed falling for a girl who in true sense was the most unbalanced creature around, was " plump"( puberty is very evident in girls, it tends to swell up their bosoms and bottoms quite a lot), shouted around at random people for no good reason. I am deeply embarrassed with myself now.
Anyway, the façade of true love died because as the apparent Daredevil I had become in my tryst with destiny, I asked her out eventually. When I look back at that moment, I am pretty sure Sheldon would have been smoother in the moment than I was. Over the years, I have improved in a sense that I have become comfortable with the idea of crazy girls who come, screw you over and leave in despair.