Romeo's Diary #2

The earlier post of mine just gave a little insight into my ordeal in this sphere of life. Its not really a thing that I can evoke humour out of, but certainly it was a memorable and pleasant experience which stays intact in some corner of my heart. What followed is the misery and the agony so killing that the world seemed unfair at every step. Its basically when something means so much to you and you loose it, you will be rendered incomplete and the memories are the only things that will stay with you.
I have gone over these thoughts over and over again, wrenching as I did. Consoling myself seemed like the only plausible solution with an ardent desire to move on. But to err is human, and I am probably one of the most flawed human there is. I couldn't get it out of my head, I couldn't live with the fact that when someone close goes, it leaves you in deep anguish and you feel betrayed. Time has always been my companion through the strenuous life, but time too betrayed me. I wished for it to sway me over and relieve me of this agony which aggravated each passing moment, but time just slid my like a passing wave , hardly leaving a mark over the emotional wound that I had ingrained.
The more I think ,the more I realise, everything does happen for a reason and this was bound to happen. Dwelling in a cocoon that I had weaved for myself, hardly slithering out for the fear of the unknown had to have a consequence. When you become complacent, you not only detach yourself from the wonderful world there is, but you also let go of wonderful opportunities that life entails. You try to glide over the seamless drift of the monotonous world and find happiness in something material. You deprive yourself of true happiness and life becomes a debauchery of material and physical attributes.
When the Almighty shows his wrath, it isn't a moment of displeasure which smear over one's life, but is like a clout that hurts you and moreover teaches you. God taught me a lesson, which is not engrained deep in my soul.
I lost her, not because of my lack of sincerity but because I never took control over my life. I let things pass by and yet I stood with that pretentious smile, not trying to fool others but myself into believing that life was indeed too peaceful and good,...So bash on regardless. I can't see her any more and when I do, words stray away and thoughts...well they are as skewed as ever. I don't know if I ever will walk across and look her in the eyes for she is mine no more, but I want to work hard in my life so to have the dignity to treat her as she deserves.

Romeo’s Diary

I am not sure if this happens to everyone there is, but it happened to me. I am a college student, that too in Delhi University. In the typical sense, I am quite not the DU kind. I don’t have swag nor do I like the funkiest band there is. I don’t go to rock concerts and I definitely don’t sport crocs with pyjama outfit in college. I don’t have a hairdo which is not only weird, but has multiple shades of purple and red. But what I have is a decent personality with a little a shade of “funny”.

Now, if you watch movies on college life, the main star is the decent guy with who is quite an intellectual or is the star athlete who has every girl drooling over him. You might even fancy the guy with the leather jacket who comes on his Harley every day. But well, I am none of them, not even close. I don’t have that life nor do I really care for it. Moreover, most of it shown on movies isn’t true. College life may not be so perfect, and nor can you chill out to an extent where a college and a real life orgy of fun and drama become synonymous.  You can’t have a crowd which seems to be Baywatch and American Pie bought together minus Pamela Anderson. College life may have its own definition for you, for you maybe be a career oriented person, or a suave social parasite with a habit of hooking onto random people (maybe not you but me :p).  Parallel to this life, is your love life. Well, that is some game worth playing. I don’t wish to demean the term of ‘love’ by calling it a game, but then this is a thing that might require a lot of thinking. Let me share a few important lessons to learn in this field.

The main things that you should follow before you fall in love in college.

1.       Not in the same college

Shoot yourself if you are already there, run if you are about to near it and be rather judicious if you plan to go ahead.

2.       Carry no emotional baggage or tolerate none.

In this fast world, people are screwed more than ever. Moreover, in spite of fucking their lives over and over again, they don’t relinquish a chance to pounce on love affairs. So, end result is that people have this emotional baggage which they carry after strings of heart breaks. If you are this happy go lucky person who has fallen in love, brace yourself for some emotional drama that might come your way. I say this only when you find yourself being the shoulder to cry and her emotional puking bag.

3.       It is not marriage

If you are mature enough, you will not start envisaging a life of togetherness till eternity. Don’t freak out and don’t freak other out. It’s a slow and steady process. Let it take its own time.

As I once quipped, Love is like that light emitting mosquito killing machine. You get drawn to it knowing you'll get fucked, but you go towards it regardless eventually to die a slow and painful death.